Imagine yourself feeling guilty, or someone else making you feel guilty, about something you actually weren’t guilty of. Horrid, right?
Imagine yourself, also, being guilty about something but not feeling guilty about it, or someone else making you not feel guilty about it. Splendid, right?
Would you rather feel guilty yet be not guilty, or would you rather not feel guilty yet be guilty—supposing, for argument’s sake, we’re only imagining minor infractions?
If you stop to really think about it, from time to time, these scenarios actually do play out in real life.
Imagine yourself being pulled over for exceeding the posted speed limit on the freeway. You grit your teeth in frustration with yourself as you anticipate yet another ticket. When the officer explains the reason for pulling you over, you acknowledge your guilt, sincerely apologize, and express how bad you feel about it.
Isn’t that scenario an example of not being bothered as much by being guilty as by feeling guilty? Fact is, being guilty starts happening when you see the speed limit but decide to step on the gas anyway; it doesn’t start happening when you’re alerted about it and/or punished for it. (And, of course, being guilty never happens when you don’t actually exceed the speed limit—even if you think you’re guilty or if someone else makes you feel guilty about it.)
The significance of the difference between feeling guilty and being guilty is something worth thinking about.
Why?
Do you imagine there have not been highly influential politicians, protestors, social workers, media personalities, economists, et al., who have probably reasoned this way: Perhaps there is an element of guilt but it’s important that we don’t make people feel guilty about ___________?
You can fill in the blank with whatever topic you can think of. But here are some ideas: disciplining children; shoplifting; use, sale, and possession of cannabis; abortion; gun ownership, indebtedness; criminal justice reform; certain forms of free speech.
Realize that there actually is a very powerful incentive for some people to make some important decisions based primarily on the feeling of guilt rather than the fact of guilt. Sometimes they fully understand their thought pattens, and sometimes they don’t.
If you find yourself becoming one of those people, do whatever it takes to cultivate a preference for innocence, regardless of whether you feel innocent or not, and regardless of whether others make you feel innocent or not. A preference for guilt when there is something or someone that, somehow, makes you feel innocent, does not change reality; it only worsens it.
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